Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Couple of Things

Dear Father in Heaven I lift up my son David today, he is hurting mentally today Father, hurting so bad that it is tough to look at him. His hurt is so deep, he is really starting to question why Father, why him and why he is not getting better. He is miserable, he is starting to doubt his reason for still being here, his spirits are failing and I have tried everything. He knows you and loves you my Lord and wants you to help him but he is so tired my Father. His depression is getting deep Father and I need you to touch him the way that only you can my Lord. Place your loving arms around him my Lord and love him the way I know that you love all of us, let him know that you are there and you will not leave him during this time. That he can yell and scream at you and you can take it. He needs you right now my dear Father in Heaven. In your precious son's name. Amen.

Dear friends, David is really struggling mentally. This ordeal is really starting to weigh on him and it is hard to watch. I am no longer going to push the positive on him because honestly he knows all of that and that isn't what he needs right now. He needs time to be angry and to be depressed but I pray that it quickly passes and that he relys on the Lord during this time. I feel so badly for him because honestly no 19 year old should ever have to go through what he is going through and what he has had to go through. He is having a hard time accepting and dealing with how sick he really is because up until the last week he never really felt sick, he was really sick but he never really felt as sick as he really was. Now everyday he throws up every 30-45 min, he sleeps every 20 min off and on, and he just doesn't feel good. This is not something he is used to, and this is all hard for him to accept and deal with. He is totally done with all of this, and I can't blame him one bit.

Also, several people have called me and emailed me questioning our decision about the "no visitors". I have to respect David's decision about this, and it isn't anything personal about one person, he just doesn't feel good. I think my friend Monica summed it up really well last night on the phone with me. She said, "until you see him in person you don't really realize how sick he really is". It is one thing to puke your guts out in front of your mom and even your grandma, it is another thing to puke in front of your friends. Please respect his decision and realize that he is going through a really tough time right now. He loves everyone, we all do, and none of us could be going through any of this without you, but he needs some time to be sad and to deal with this.

8 comments:

  1. David and family... please know that this Navy mom has never met you but is holding you in my prayers! As I sat in church this morning I thought of the 40 days ahead of lent. The time that Jesus spent in the desert alone. Praise be that you have Him to walk this path with.
    I have been so touched to hear how strong your faith is. God understands our human 'condition' and that we will question, rant or rail against our physical bodies. It is all part of the path you are walking. Please know that we are lifting you in our prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Father God, I lift up David to your care. Lord be there for him and let him know that he is not alone. Help him to be patient in this silence,to be still, and know that you are God. That you are taking care of him and that you love him. It is only in these moments that we can truly know what it is like to keep our faith and be still whatever your purpose for our life is. Father there is such pain in the unknowing give David the strength, perseverance, and comfort that only you can give. Let him know how much we are all around him and praying for him. Lord, it pains me to know that he is hurting please place your comforting hands on him and give him the peace only you can. Father I pray for quick resolution for a donor heart so that David may move on and testify to your glory. In your precious name.Amen!
    David, only you know what it is you are going through. Fight the battle and win. God will see you through. Remember to ask for this strength and the willpower. Put on your armor...
    We all love you so much. Chris and Eliott,Ryan and Tori.

    ReplyDelete
  3. David, we love you more than you can ever know...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't worry about asking people to respect your desire not to have visitors. You are completely entitled to some time to yourself. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I know the Lord knows. I will continue to pray He will give you the comfort and peace that only He can give. Bless you David, be strong, and when you feel like you want to give up, let the Lord infuse you with His strength.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I continue to read your postings. And my heart just breaks. I pray every night and thank the Lord that he has given him another day. I'm a nurse and I totally understand what he's going though, but I can't understand as a mom why anyone's child must suffer. I deal with my own patients and I don't care how good a nurse anyone can be you still get attached to patients. I don't know David or your family, but you have touched my heart. I still haven't gotten the change to ask my son if the boys know each. I will be send a small package for Daivd and I hope it makes him smile, mostly all silly things. I will mail my check for our family donation tomorrow. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. MOM BE STRONG FOR DAVID AND HELP HIM WITH HIS DECISIONS FOR AS DIFFICULT AS THEY MAY BE. And, people should respect his and your family decisions. I truly understand how David feels and not wanting people to see him in his present condition. PEOPLE NEED TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING. DAVID NEEDS TO REST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND TOO MANY VISITORS WILL WEAR HIM DOWN. Will continue to pray for David and your family.
    Love,
    Leocricia (Leo)
    USS Boxer MoM

    ReplyDelete
  6. David, You need to rest and concentrate on staying strong. Please know that you're in a lot of people's thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. David... thoughts and prayers from CT again.. i have shared your story at work, and everyone is praying for you... yes its heart breaking watching all this unfold... but believe that you will be ok, that god will not allow you to go through more than you can stand... and that he will give you peace in your heart... lots of love and prayers... (thought of sending my rabbits as a lil pet therapy for you but then realized not the brightest idea with wires around... so here's an imaginary cat for you to cuddle up with and share all your fears and joys with) *imaginary cat- its what ever color you want, boy or girl, can do tricks if you want, but best as a cuddler and listener...
    lots of love
    cassie

    ReplyDelete
  8. Continuing to keep you in our prayers here in Wisconsin. Always know that the Lord loves you and will keep you in His tender care.

    I pray for you, your family, your donor, and family too. Bless you all

    ReplyDelete