Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Day by day..

Hi all.... haven't blogged much lately... things have been pretty tough around our home and getting used to David being gone. I don't think that will ever be easy or that any of us will ever get over it, but time will make the hurt a little bit better. I am so thankful for all of the family and friends that have been there for us every step of the way supporting us and supporting our family during this tremendous trial, family has been the most important thing and I am so glad for the family that has not given up on us and have been there for us every step of the way.

In the months since David passing we have tried to keep busy with the house remodel, some travel, and just hunkering down as a family. John and Claire really miss their big brother and we have been trying to encourage them as much as possible. We celebrated Davids one year transplant anniversary in Hawaii because that is what he said he wanted to do... that was bittersweet, but it was very good for our souls as well.

In January the Navy put on a large memorial for David for his ship and we went to San Diego for that, I am still shocked by the immense support that we got from them and the loving people that are involved with the Navy.

I cry every day still, I miss David so very much, he has been a part of my life for over 15 years and I loved him first before Doug. He was my boy, and last year was something I will never forget, he and I became so close, we became best friends. I miss my best friend more then anything, every morning I wake up still hoping this is all still a dream, not sure when that will go away exactly. Doug is handling this so much better then I am, I honestly wish I could be like him and handle it in a stronger fashion. But above all things I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ for providing me the knowledge so I can see David again. Oh but what I would do for one more bear hug from that boy... the night before he went into the coma he hugged me tight and said, "psshh don't worry about me, I feel fine, just like everyone else."

Reality of this world is sometimes so hard to accept, death happens, and it happens to those of us who don't think it will happen to us. 2 years ago a good friend of mine lost her husband quite suddenly and I was devastated for her, but I thought the same thing that lots of others probably thought, "that is pretty rare". The Lord really likes to show us his works when we least expect it, even though it is so hard some days to wake up and go about our daily lives without David, I know that this whole scenario is part of God's almighty plan.