Today the doctors wanted to try and take David off one of the drugs to see how he would respond. I for one was vehemently against this when it was suggested last night, and openly said so. It happens to be the one drug that his heart really responds to and actually makes Dave feel good because it helps his heart really stimulate and function well. Of course I am not a doctor, so early this morning they backed him off of it just to see if he could tolerate it. Well, you know that saying, "your mother is always right".. it is soooo true! Almost immediately Dave felt sick to his tummy and started with his familiar mantra of "my body doesn't feel like it is working right". So they put him back on the meds right away at a low dose, the low dose didn't help much and by the mid afternoon he was back up to the amount he was on yesterday. He still felt really yucky all afternoon and evening just from that little bit of trial and I am a bit irritated by it all, but I know that they needed to test the waters and see just what they are dealing with. When I "talked" with him last he was going to ask for something to help him sleep tonight.
He is feeling really discouraged and I feel badly for him because we are all adults and he is only 19! We have to remember that we can continually remind him that he is still here and that he has suffered a lot and he will be a better person for it, but for a 19 year old this is really a hard road. It would be a hard road for anyone, but especially for someone so very young. Patience is hard for youth, and he has been laying in a hospital bed for 60 days as of today, that is such a long time and after that long you start to really feel down, any one of us would. He told his dad tonight he feels like "throwing in the towel". He has talked like that to me on more then one occasion and I hate it when he says things like that, but I can hardly blame him. This is just a horrible thing for him to have to go through. He like everyone else is just really stupefied that this is all happening to him and that all of these things keep happening, he is kind of like, "what are the chances?" We keep telling him to hang in there and to be strong, but even that is getting old on him and I know he is getting tired of hearing it. He wants and needs to see some big changes and fast.
One thing that is really good news, is that the doctors got clearance for him to be able to leave ICU even though he is on all the meds. I don't know who they bribed to get the ok, but they did it and I am so glad. Only one catch, he has to get a little more stable then today and he has to be feeling better then he did today. So that is our goal for tomorrow so that we can get the dodge out of the ICU. We know we will have to stay in the hospital until the heart comes, but a private room out of the ICU would be oh so nice and a nice change of scenery for him, it would be something at least.