Late Tuesday night I was on the phone with a friend and I was so tearful and at a loss as to what to do next with this sweet boy of mine. Thankfully she is the kind of friend that doesn't mince words with me and basically said this to me, " YOU NEED TO GIVE IT TO GOD!" she then proceeded to tell me how I could do no more it was now between David and the Lord and how I could only do so much. Right then when she said that to me I was not acting like a believer but first and foremost a mom, I listened to her and thought to myself- Well, too bad God can just work through me to change this child! Isn't that just the controlling nature of us moms! I got off the phone with her, came back inside the homtel room and went to bed. The next morning (yesterday) I woke up and thought to myself, "what am I thinking! Of course I have to give it to God, he is the only one that can really help us!" So I got down on my knees and did just that, I pleaded with the Lord but also knew that through him is the glory of all things.
I went about my day yesterday, and had a few opportunities to tell David how I really felt about the situation in a non threatening way, clearly stating that this had to stop not only does he want to get on with his life but so do I. Things like that, not sure if he really listened, but it was on my heart to say such things to him. Then in the afternoon I called one of our mighty prayer warriors in Seattle and we spoke about the situation and she told me she would start lifting him up in prayer. Then I posted the blog about how we needed to lift him up and let the Lord work through him.
Last night around 4pm, he came out of his room sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He has never done this, he always sits in his room with the lights off and curtains drawn, even to watch TV. He then proceeded to sit on the couch and watch TV for the next 5 hours, I sat there truly dumbfounded! Then this morning I went down to wake him up for clinic and he was already up taking his BLOOD PRESSURE and other vitals. I was again stunned, and then chastised myself for being so stunned, because it hit me all at once that this was happening because I finally gave it to God. I realized that this whole time I have been struggling for the answers and help and this whole time the Lord has just been waiting for me to release it to him. You would think that after all we have been through I would have realized this a long time ago! BUT NO- I had to be the stubborn one. Here I was being a fretful parent because David was acting like a disobedient child, but I in turn was also acting that way to the Lord. Oh how he must have been fretting over me these past weeks!
Then today in clinic our wonderful nurse Bonnie came up with a fantastic STRUCTURED plan to keep David on task and to do the things he needs to be doing. David was thrilled with the plan and is excited to try it. If he does it exactly as laid out for him for the next 7 days they will in return grant him another weekend pass home, with some conditions of course! In addition to all of this they also gave him set goals he needs to accomplish before they will release him for good, he was excited about this and I can tell that he is ready to make a difference. After we left the doctor he told me " we need to make a list of things to do everyday and just do them, I am going to try harder." My heart was so happy!! Then tonight when we got home from the hospital, instead of going to straight to his bed, he changed into his swim trunks and went down and swam for 1/2 hour! PRAISE GOD! I know that Gods Glory is being shown through this, but I am also keeping our nurse Bonnie's words in mind, she told me today she was being "cautiously optimistic":)
These events have strengthened my resolve once again that the Lord will work wonderful things if we just ask him to and turn over our hearts to him. This is no happenstance that David has had a change in attitude this is purely the power of prayer and release from the Lord. I am so thankful that I have a sovereign God that is my protector in all things, especially in parenthood.
Oh and one more thing that has maybe helped a little:) I brought our cat, Sebastian, to the homtel this past week and he has been nothing but joy for David and I. Plus it is another "being" for us to interract with and has been helpful for the both of us!