Through the last 2 months my heart strings have tugged as I have been torn between my 2 sets of kids, of course there is no place I would rather be then by David's side, but I miss John and Claire so much. Honestly though things are so stressful around the hospital and the kids are so busy at home that none of us really have time to "worry" about being away from each other, but it is still there. Until today.....
All weekend, I was the image of the perfect mother! HAHA!! I cleaned, did laundry, Claire had a sleepover with a friend, John had a friend over, I cooked dinner, did grocery shopping, worked on John's science fair project, and I even got in a little girl time late Monday night for myself. I was feeling pretty on top of the world and thinking that I could do it all until last night when I got home and Doug said these words to me, "Claire is really sick, she has a high fever." All of a sudden the bottom dropped out from under me, and I was like, "oh my gosh I have to leave tomorrow". Mommy guilt hit me like no other last night and again this morning when I left and she was laying on the couch with that little sick face that just said, "mommy hold me." But I know that daddy was there and then at noon grandma was taking over, so all would be well. But still it was very hard to leave and really for the first time since all this started I felt really torn in half.
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