I debated on this posting.... a couple of times I have been asked to retract or edited my postings on the blog because they have either been to "emotional", or given out to much family information. But tonight while I was in the shower I was feeling very heavy with love for my son and feeling this overwhelming need to express it, so here goes. Twice today I felt like I was defending my reasons for loving him and that worried me to a great extent. So just a bit ago I got down on my knees and spent a great deal of time with the Lord and afterwards felt so much peace in my heart.
David has been a part of my life since he was 5 years old, we have not always got along well, that isn't a secret to anyone who has been a part of our life. But truth be told I would like to meet a happy well adjusted "normal" family that gets along with their kids 24/7 all the time! We had growing pains all the while he was growing up and even more so when he was a teenager. At the time I thought we were the only parents ever going through something like that, I remember my mom just laughing at me, and I remember being quite offended. Now I look back and talk with other parents and know that it was all normal kid stuff! We even have other parents of teens coming to us for advice now, it is so weird. And I know that we will be that more prepared for these things when John and Claire reach that age group.
But these past 2 months have been so precious to me with David, I can't even put into words what they have meant to me. He and I have always had this unspoken thing, we were close but still worlds apart, and this tragedy has pulled us together in a way that is totally indescribable. The moments we have shared have been awe inspiring and ones that I will never forget. Even the times when we sit in silence each doing our own thing have been precious to me because we are so comfortable with each other now. We truly have become best friends over the last two months and that is something that I have always wanted for us.
When David joined the Navy he sent us a letter that will remain with me forever, a letter that basically said how much he loved us and was sorry for being that typical teen and making some bad choices. Shortly after that he sent me a beautiful necklace that the Navy puts out just for moms with a letter he wrote for me that I will share with no one. Since that day he and I have become closer each day, and I know now that the Lord was preparing both of us for these days. I didn't realize that until just today, that he was softening our hearts so that we could both be ready for these long months together.
I will never ever forget these moments that I have been able to spend with MY son, it doesn't matter that I didn't give birth to him, he is MINE and MINE alone. We have a long journey still ahead of us but I now look forward to the journey because we can do it together, we have proved that much in just the past two months. He and I make a great team, we keep telling his dad that he is just an added bonus! HAHA
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Praise God for His healing hand! Praise Him that he helps us to look back and see how He was always there and preparing us for His plan.
ReplyDeletePraise the Lord for kids that can mature in Him and be thankful that they have parents that care enough to over react.
Then He even let's us put His lessons to practice.(Claire, John, Gabbi, Jimmy) And because of God's love our little ones end up with less stressed parents and big brothers or sisters that love them and will help show them the way.
Praise God that you had a chance to reflect on the blessing God gave you in your son. And praise God that you were able to find that time to be still and know that He is God.
I love you tons....give the tall boy hugs for us....ya'll are in our hearts and prayers.
These postings have brought me closer to you than ever before. I have only met you once, and that was when Dave was a little guy. You didn't even have John and Claire yet. (I am friend of Bill and Nancy, from Canada EH!). you have done such a great job at posting the ups and downs of Dave's progress. God has given you the strength. Dave you will stay in my prayers, along with the rest of the family. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, just keep strong.
ReplyDeleteI believe I speak for many others when I say that in traveling along with you on "David's Journey" I have come back to the God who loves us all.
ReplyDeleteI have been away from Him for some time and although I never shut Him completely out I was merely paying Him "lip service".
In praying for David and your family I have re-ignited my relationship with the Lord and began listening to Him again as He points out my enormous need for Him.
In addition to that I have cherished my precious children so much more. I have slowed my life down so that I can truly spend time with them, to really hear what they say and to get to know them even better. I really don't want to take their good health or love for granted ever again.
So David, and family, I guess I want to say that I am sorry and at the same time I am grateful for what you are all going through.
I can't say why God has allowed your family to go through this, but I for one know that because of your suffering and strength and love, This mom has benefitted in a truly supernatural way.
I promise you this. I will continue to pray for all of you and that your experiences will not be in vain. I pray that many other people out there like myself will be lifted up and brought back into fellowship with our Lord Jesus Christ. Even more importantly, I will pray that people out there reading this who don't know our great God and Saviour will come to know Him in a personal relationship and be saved.
David, Bronwyn, thank you for allowing us all to be a part of this. I know that God will truly bless you and your family through this.
David, I hope and pray that even while you are still in so much discomfort you may find some tiny bit of solace in the fact that you have brought about an awareness of how great our God is and everyone's need for Him.
May God's amazing blessings and love rain down upon you and your entire family.
Love to you and your family from a sincerely changed life.
I have said this before and will probably say it a million more times- if your kids don't hate you some of the time you probably aren't doing a very good job. (I'm not a parent, so hopefully this kid's perspective is encouraging to you.) I am so thankful that my parents wanted more than just to be my friend. I already had friends and my parents had the courage to be so much more.
ReplyDeleteWhen David stayed with us we would talk about the "David vs. Bronwyn" days and though I remember those as being hard to even watch, I have always seen it as a badge of honor to you! Much like my "Jessica vs. Kelley & Lenny" days... My parents put sweat, tears, stinging palms, vocal chords and more into raising me and in return received grey hair and an upright and faithful daughter who loves the Lord and sees His work her parent’s very firm but very loving ways. I bet that David sees it the same way. And more than that, I know the Lord sees the plight of the faithful parent.
And now a new chapter begins, “David & Bronwyn, The Dynamic Duo, face off against the Trials of the Heart.” This has been my favorite chapter: still sometimes hard to watch, sometimes I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry, and most of the time I can’t put the book down- even when I’m not reading I can’t stop thinking about it. Through your great battle I have found a better appreciation for parents, a new urgent love for others, and a greater hope in the strength that comes from Him who has always been on His throne. I echo the above commenter in saying that- I hope knowing this makes the load that your entire family bears a little lighter.
-Pookie
This is simply beautiful! Truly heartfelt and beautiful. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI recently found your blog and your strength and honesty are so wonderful to read about. I am praying that all goes with with David & your family in the coming weeks/months/years!
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