Yesterday at 3:15pm we were given the final ok to go home.... I can hardly believe it.... I am totally stunned.... the day has finally arrived. Doug drove up last night after work to help us pack up the "homtel" and we should be leaving this afternoon to go home for good. It is very bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY ready and excited to move back home, but a lot has happened to me and my family in this little town, this little homtel, and this little part of the world these past 7 months. That is a lot to finally walk away from. Saying goodbye to people like Bonnie yesterday and Paula were so hard on me. I know we will see Bonnie for our monthly visits but not having the security of her right down the road is a hard thing to let go of. And Paula, now that one was so hard for me personally, that woman sat by my side and held my hand during some of my darkest moments. She has been there since day one of this incredible journey and has seen it all with us. She has cried with us, laughed with us, and gotten mad with us. It was so incredibly hard to hug her yesterday and tell her goodbye, so I know that she reads the blog everyday.... So I am blowing you kisses Paula, you have no idea how much you have meant to me and my boy.
I laid awake until 4am last night replaying all of the events that have happened to us in these last 7 months and was once again shocked. I still have a hard time comprehending that David had a heart transplant, or that he was as sick as he was. I started thinking about the first phone call, the time in Hawaii, our first days in Stanford, his little boy laughs when he was trying to keep himself amused in the hospital, his weak and frail body, the day of the Jarvik surgery, the ICU stay, and most of all the day we got the call and the time we spent waiting for him during the heart transplant surgery. I started thinking about all the people we have met in person as well as over the Internet that have made this journey possible to handle. I am still dumbfounded of the overwhelming support we have gotten and the help and love we have received. It has proven to me that the majority of people in this world are good and loving, it has restored my faith in Americans and what we stand for.
Some people have told me that they are afraid that I have lost my identity through this whole process, and at first I was scared that could be very true. But then I really started thinking about it and I think that is incredibly wrong. I really believe that I have learned more about myself and who I am through this then I ever did before. I have regained such a strength in our powerful God, and I have learned that with him nothing is impossible. With that behind me I can do anything in this world and not be afraid. I strongly know that I am a better Christian, Wife, and most importantly Mother because of all this. I have gained confidence, self control, over whelming love, and peace. I have not lost my identity I believe that I have found it through this... it makes me shudder to think that might be one of the reasons why we went through this.
Many people have been irritated with me because a lot of the time I don't write about Dave in depth on these blogs... well I have news for you... this journey didn't just involve David. It involved his dad, me, and most importantly his little brother and sister. We all went through this with him and were affected by it, not just him. This journey threw our lives upside down these last 7 months, and I am a proud mama to sit here and say we survived it. Lots of marriages and families don't survive it, but we have Christ in our corner and that is why we did. Yes, this thing happened to David physically but the aftershocks reached out to the whole family... please bear that in mind.
On that note, David is doing really well. I have full confidence that he will handle this on his own and that he will manage his health care in a way that he knows he needs to. That being said, I also know that because he is 20 he will stumble and he will fall, but who hasn't. The reality of it is when he stumbles and falls it might be enough of a fall to make him sick again, but that is on David and how he wants to handle it. He still has high blood pressure and is now on an Ace Inhibitor as well as all of the blood pressure medicine and he still has high blood sugar so he is checking his sugar levels 4x a day and on a high dose of medicine for that. BUT, in our last clinic visit we got him off of 4 meds and rearranged his schedule so he is only taking meds 2x a day instead of 4. This was very good news and will make things a little bit easier for him to handle when he leaves here.
He has to report to San Diego on July 15th, I will be taking him down there, going to his first appt with him, and helping him get settled, then I will leave. Won't blog about how hard that will be right now.... They are telling us he will only have to be in San Diego for about 30 days, so we are praying that is true. He is anxious to come home and start a life again. We are going to do every thing in our power to add on to our house so that he has a little privacy and a place of his own to go too, so we ask for prayers in that regard. That it can be done swiftly, nicely, and with volunteer help and donations. Right now Dave plans on starting Junior College and wants to be a Radiology Technician.....
My son was dying 7 months ago.... I know without a doubt that his days on this earth were numbered. I also know without a doubt that my GREAT BIG GOD saved him, that the power of Prayer saved him, and the amount of people that loved him saved him. God chose David to save, that is almost to big for me to handle sometimes. I know it is too big for Dave to handle. There is something big in store for my boy... I just know it..... I love him so very much, my heart aches with love for him. Every single day I look at him and I am filled with love and I am reminded how close I came to losing him and it makes me want to hold him tight and never let go. Thank you.... all of you who prayed for us, held our hands in waiting rooms, hugged us, loved us, supported us in so many ways, and thank you Jesus for saving my boy.....